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Striving For More Than Roles In Long Term Relationships
The comfort and security that a long term relationship provides can offer you and your partner the chance to fall into gender roles or reverse gender roles that can suck some of the life out of your relationship. When you were younger you approached the world as a team, each doing their part to keep the team running. When that feeling starts slipping away it is time to check in before trouble eats through the relationship.
Material objects to aging concerns, men and women come at life from different angles. If a guy is feeling his success in a new Panasonic 1080p plasma TV then so be it. Meanwhile women often need to set aside a budget portion for anti aging skin cream and beauty cosmetics. While women fight off the advancement of age they are also fighting hard to be taken seriously and compete well within their workplace.
Many still believe that much of today's successes and failures still rest on the woman's shoulders. It's rare that women don't have to join the workforce in order to make the bills every month. Yet they are also charged with much of the housework, the need to look younger than they really are, to stay in shape, and to be able to earn their equal pay.
It's not true for every family but there are certainly plenty of partnerships that have fallen into this idea of gender roles. Women are more acceptable if they can retain their looks and their figure through their sixties and men are more permitted to gain a few pounds and develop a few gray hairs.
You can't expect any long term relationship to be maddeningly passionate for five, ten, or even twenty years. There are times of closeness and times when couples drift farther away. It's those couples that do not pin the responsibility of coming back to closeness on just one half of the partnership that tend to do better overall. Each partner can keep the spirit of the relationship alive while tending to their needs and wants.
We often hear the word compromise thrown into successful relationships. New research shows that compromise builds resentment. What you're really looking for is a way to allow each partner to reach their goals. It might be slower or harder than if the other partner gave up their dreams, but it doesn't make it right.
Because a relationship is made up of two unique people, there is a certain amount of natural separation that will occur. Over time, you still have to bring it back around to support and understanding if you want it to stand the test of time.
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